How could God use a broken vessel like me?
The more He fills I was supposed to be empty..  I'm broken remember? 
I know this body is His buh I can't deny couple of times have had it breached..
couple of times..  and couple more...  Call me an addict! 
Enslave to myself though Jesus set me free.. Ain't I suppose to be free indeed?
These and couple more Questions linger in ma heart as I commit d same sin..
God pleaseee forgive mee I cry immediately.. I never wanted to.. I know you love me.. I love u too..didn't you say Your strength would be made perfect in ma weakness? Same Judge, God, is my witness..of what I do when I'm alone.. I wanted to call Him Father buh I felt disown.. Jesus! Wah have I done..again.. I thought I am in control..i recall I surrendered this life to You long time ago.. and I've been making deliberate effort to grow..  Deliberate effort to grow...  Wait a min.. Deliberate effort grow.. Have I? 
I mean I tried not to miss church on sundays,weekly service and every other fellowship activities.. and eachtime I could feel God move I can't pretend, I've been blessed.. But check it.. In the real sense have been feeding my flesh..and starving ma Spirit!!! 
Don't get me wrong...  I mean once in a while I sense God in my Spirit.. I can't deny that sweet feeling... I tel you it's the best.. What a nourishment! But how much of it have I taken recently?  I mean balance this on a scale of 20.. I love hollywood movies, games, gist, ma academics, eating..other hobbies.. I'm all over d social networks.. I haven't mentioned Bible study yet cuz I'm still Struggling routinely.. I know you don't have to get a form, be on your knees or close ur eyes with ur palm against each other before you pray.. Excuse I give each time I feel lazy.. So if you check that's like missing how many palatable decent meal in a week?????!!!!     I'M STARVING MY SPIRIT!!!
Did I hear me say GROW again?!  I've only grown lean.. Wat do I expect wen I refuse to feed on the Bread of life.. I'm thirsty for more but I refused to drink from the Living well..  Or maybe I did.. Each time I pass out to revive me..  When I could just decide to eat breakfast brunch lunch dinner supper in any quantity 7 times a week.. How foolish have I been?!  How foolish have I been???
now I see clearly my pieces...
Soo God I rededicate my life to You ..  I messed up and I'm really sorry!  I repent of ma sins grant me a new beginning..  And Pleaseeee constantly remind me my flesh is the old that's passed I would constantly feed my Spirit that's eternally meant to Stay!